My Immortal: NAOMI'S commentary
by KodyKrypt
Summary: The worst fanfic ever, read by my Dorian Gray OC, Naomi Delacroix!
1. Chapter 1

**Kody: hello again everyone! This time, we're reading My Immortal, the worst fanfiction ever! According to everyone! So, instead of Valken having to suffer through drivel again, we hired my Dorian Gray OC, Naomi Delacroix, Voodou priestess, corp-goth, and concerned adult. Enjoy!**

**Naomi: joy. Ok, let's get this over with**

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) **(Well ok then…)**2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! **(Clearly she has helped so much with the spelling…) **Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX **(I'm sure he's overjoyed.)**

Hi my name is Ebony **(I'm Naomi) ** Dark'ness Dementia** (You're named after a severe mental illness…are your parents high 24/7 or are they just insensitive pricks?) **Raven Way** (Last name Delacroix. My name is sexy and French.)**

and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **(No shit. I have very short dark brown hair that looks black. And ebony is the same thing as black, dear.) **with purple streaks and red tips**)** that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee** (People say I look like Skylar Gray with shorter hair and less makeup. Cuz I was written thataway!) ** (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here) **(I indeed know who she is.) **I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **(So if you're a vampire you have crooked yellow teeth now?)**

I have pale white skin** (As do I. I'm around NW20 in M.A.C code. I wear sunscreen and stuff.) **I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth**(No you are not)** (in case you couldn't tell) **(Nah, really.)**

and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there **(Hot Topic sells band t-shirts and skinny jeans. That'd be about it.) **For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots**(I am wearing my black velvet blazer, a sensible gray button up shirt and black slacks. With nice boots. Who looks better?)**. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow**. **I was walking outside Hogwarts.

It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.** (I am often stared at. I smile and say hello, because I'm not an angsty teen that thinks being goth means you can be a slutty bitch. **

**Ahem.)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….

Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **(No because you put a z after fang)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz to bloodytearz666** (Again with the 666. You realize that's the numerical sigil for Adam right? Like the biblical one?) **for helping me with the chapter! BTW preps stop flaming my story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **(True blood?)**

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. **(My coffin is bluuuuue.)**

I got out of my coffin and took off my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **(Seems so uncomfy, leather dresses. Pants I get, but a whole dress?) **I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven this is you!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. **(Her eyes were closed this whole time?) ** She put on her Marilyn Mansont-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. **(Do not syeal my witchy boots. You would just scuff them.)** We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **(I know at this age you think black lipstick is cool and all, but it's not. It's very hard to pull off, and unless you are Brandon Lee, or at the club, I wouldn't wear it.) **

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so f*cking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **(Humans. In Hogsmeade.)**

"Oh. My. F*cking. God! I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR **(sucks)**

"Well… do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped


	3. Chapter 3

(Chapter 3.

AN: Stop flaming the story preps**, **OK? Otherwise fangz to the goffik people for the good reviews **(But we're the ones giving you shit…)**! Fangz again raven! Oh yeah, BTW I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. **(Stop stealing my boots.)**

Underneath them were ripped red fishnets**(Oh shit, fishnets. Sooooooo goffik.)**Then I put on a black leather mini-dress with all this corset stuffon the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms**(You sound like the hookers in Scream Baby Scream.) **I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists**(Kody: when I feel depressed I take one of my pills and call my grandma. Slitting wrists is dangerous and if you trivialize it again I will go Valken on you.)**. I read a depressing book**(Twilight)** while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC.

I painted my nails black and put on TONS**(You sound ridiculous.)**of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **(Why were you wearing it before? Buy some M.A.C. honey, no more hot topic crap for you.) **I drank some human blood**(TRUE BLOOD FTW)**, so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.**(Now he's Ron Weasly?)**

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants**, **black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of kewl boys wear it ok!) **(Sure. Like MM. Al B Damned. KISS. Hell even Bon Jovi. Onstage only tho…)**

["Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.**(How does one use an exclaimation while sounding depressed?)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz**(I own a hearse. Who is more goth now.)** (the license plate said 666**(Which, again, means the Biblical Adam.**) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson**. **We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.**(Hope you start tripping and DIE.)**

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood

They're all so happy you've arrived

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom

She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own the lyrics to that song). **(Well duh.)**

"Joel is so f*cking hot."**(Dorian Gray. Hot. Matthew Gray Gubler. Hot. Joel Madden? Not so hot.)** I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.**(Well no effing duh.)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary f*cking Duff. I f*cking hate that little bitch**.(Hillary Duff doesn't do drugs, and she has some OK songs…)"** I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.**(He's actually dating Nicole Ritchie, dear.)**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer **(You're 17….!)**and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. **(I have Bon Jovi and Motley Crue tees.)**

Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into…the Forbidden Forest! **(Like, gasp.)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: I said stop flaming ok! Ebony's name is ENOBY **(Not a huge difference…)** not Mary Sue**(She's Ebony Sue, dear.) **ok! Draco is so in love with her that he is acting different**(He loves Lavender or whatever.)**! They knew each other before ok

"Draco!" I shouted. "What the f*ck do you think you are doing?"**(So angry…here have a chicken claw to your head.)**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the f*cking h*ll?" I asked angrily

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes**(I would be concerned.)** (he was wearing color contacts)**(Well, um, DUH.)** which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately.**(…..I kissed a gay guy in 9****th**** grade to prove a point. He was far more passionate than Draco.)**

Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.**(It is called a penis, dear.)**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an o*****. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm**(yeah yeah yeah, you're pale.)**And then….

"WHAT THE H*LL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERF*CKERS!"

It was…Dumbledore!**(Yay, he's awesome.)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

AN: Stop flaming! If you flame it means you're a prep or a poser**(Oh honey, look in the mirror)**! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache**(Dumbledore doesn't get headaches. He's a wizard, after all.)** ok, and on top of that he was mad at them for having sex!

PS I'm not updating until I get five good reviews! **(Don't count on it.)**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous**(A WORD SPELLED RIGHT!)** fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood**(Like Crispin Russel I suppose…)** down my pallid face. **(I get it, you're pale, I'm pale, we are both pale.)**

Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest**!" **he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces**?(I love you McGonagall)"** asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked.**(….)** "Because I love her!" Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."**(So If I say, "But I love her," I get off scot free? I'm going to go burn a house down now.)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. **(You sound so ridiculous…)**

When I came out…

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing "I Just Wanna Live"**(I'd like my man to sing 'Horror Movie Baby', but that ain't gonna happen.)** by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there.

We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

AN: shut up preps ok! **(So glad I'm not a 'prep'.**

**Kody: I'm goth and I'm on the dance team of my school. Am I a goth prep?)**

PS I won't update until you give me good reviews!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black**( Can you even bend over in that outfit?)**. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. **(Dye. It's a wonderful thing.)**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal**(Good cereal except I like Boo Berry.)** with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.**(Ewwwww.)**

Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!"**(SO ANGRY!)** I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up because I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that it was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick**(That is a LOT of eyeliner. Not hot.)** He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forehead anymore

He had a manly**(Stubble is by definition, manly.)** stubble on his chin**(But only his chin.)**. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. **(Not hot.)**

He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **(That is called being aroused. Your body has provided lubrication in your vagina because of your insane attraction to him, so he may better have angry 'goffik' sex with you and get his shit load of eyeliner all over you.)**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled. **(So angsty.)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.**(Well du-uh.)**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed

"Really?" he whimpered.** (MANLY MAN!)**

"Yeah." I roared.**(Why are you roaring?)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7. Bring me to life **(Random chapter name…that's an awful song, very overplayed.) **

AN: Well ok you guys I'm only writing this cause I got 5 good reviews And BTW I won't write the next chapter until I get ten good ones! Stop flaming or I'll report you!**(It's not flaming if we're trying to help you.)** Ebony isn't a Mary Sue ok she isn't perfect she's a Satanist**(I practice voudou and do you even know what real honest to god Satanism is? I don't think so.)**! And she has problems, she's depressed for god's sake! **(Kody is depressed. She hates her face. She used to scratch her face. She takes Zoloft. Doesn't let it affect her.)**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish**(**as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings**(You do not know what Satanism is, please stop acting like you do, or even practice it.)** on my nails in red nail polish**(** (AN: see, does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?).

I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes **(He's so damn angsty. Like Nirvana.)**

I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.**(…..)**

Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively **(You started making out PASSIVELY. So you were bored?)** and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.

He felt me up before I took off my top. Then I took off my black leather bra**(Jesus that sounds uncomfortable. I bet you get rashes.)** and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy **(It's called a penis.) **in mine and we HAD SEX. (see, is that stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an o***** **(ORGASM)** when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words…Vampire!

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily**, **jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you f*cking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**(…..)**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked.** (What guy does that?)**

He had a really big you-know-what **(PENIS.) **but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERF*CKER!" I yelled


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

AN: Stop flaming ok! If you do then you are a prep! **(Kody: GOTH PREP FTW!)**

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back. **(I would be screaming 'HE'S NAKED! DEAR SWEET LORD HE'S NEKKID!')**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hairand opened her crimson eyes like blood**(So she smiled at you, flipped her hair around like Sam Winchester and THEN opened her eyes. Um, ok then.)** that she was wearing contact lenses on.

She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on**. **Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.** (Hold up, where is this going?)**

Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.**(Please just stop. Real people who are depressed do not act like I know you are going to describe her. I'm a psychologist, and let me fucking tell you if she were really depressed and not a poser emo ho, she'd be in bed, unable to freaking move.)**

It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor.**(Satanism means worshipping yourself you stupid 13 year old 'writer' who wants to be unique just like everyone else. Satanism was created by Anton LeVey and is all about self love and worship. Which you would know if you weren't an idiot.)** "What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit**!"** Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. **(Woah, what just happened.)**

I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony** (Course she is. She wants to be a unique dark snowflake like everyone else.)**for a while but then he broke my heart.

He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy f*cker.**(Say it together kids, preps are usually very nice, straight laced smart kids. In knee high socks and plaid skirts.)**

We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic.**(Such as...? Mental problems=/=fake 'goffik.)** (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **(Kody: if by prep you mean cheerleaders, and jocks, I know many cheerleaders and jocks. They're very nice. The cheerleaders are very much like a family, and I knew one jock that danced with me freshman year for Homecoming,)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah f*cking right! F*ck off, you bastard!" I screamed. **(Suddenly we are back to ENOBY's point of view.)**I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest**, **where I had lost my virility**(you lost your ability to have sex at any time? I think you mean virginity.) ** to Draco and then I started to bust into tears


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

AN: Stop flaming ok! I didn't read all the books!

This is from the movie ok, so it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears!**(Dumbledore never swore in the movies.)**

Besides I said he had a headache!

And the reason snapdoesn't like Harry now is cause he's Christian **(No evidence of that.)** and vampire is a Satanist**So he's into self worship and snape is stupid enough to think it matters?)**! MCR ROX

I was so mad and sad**, **I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me**, **I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco

Then all of a suddenly, a horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic It was… Voldemort!** (So it was like Voldemort in the movie…and it was Voldemort! You, young lady are better than Oscar Wilde by freaking far.)**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. **(Hermione's cat is a spell?)**

Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist**(Unique dark snowflake, like everyone else. I bet you say you're into BDSM too, but you've never practiced it.)** so I stopped.

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter

I thought about Vampire and his sexy eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.**(Joel Madden has like 2 kids. Not hot anymore.)** I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?** (…dumbass.)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. **(You…have…a…WAND.)**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco**""**How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-you're-so-retardedlook on his face. "I hath telekinesis**So he can move objects with his mind, and that makes him able to know bout you and Draco. Can I stop reading this please?)"** he answered cruelly.

"And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco**!"** he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. **(How does one fly angrily?)**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad**.**He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)**(A pentagram is a sacred religious symbol to me and you sound like a dumbass for trying to substitute it with cross.)** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked. **(Didn't you just yell at him )**

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

AN: Stop it you gay fags**(And yet you try and say you're bi. I bet you're one of them bi girls who thinks it's perfectly ok to date a guy and a girl at the same time.)** if you do not like my story then f*ck off!

PS it turns out B'loody Mary isn't a muggle after all and she and vampire are evil that's why they moved houses ok!**(According to Lestat, he wants to be a saint, so….no they're not.)**

I was really scared about Voldemort all day**. **I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.** (That name is retarded.)**

I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar**(Of course you do, you're a Mary Sue.)**. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR**(I like Slipknot, but none of those bands are goth. Try again, cough cough Cradle of Filth, cough, Theatres des Vampires cough.) **. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo**(You spelled it wrong dumbass.)** now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it**)**and Hargrid.

Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists**(Cuz he is a unique tortured soul…like everyone else.)** (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s **(He's a vampire now?)**(there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak**)**)

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride**(That movie is beautiful and very uplifting)**. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**(Yes you are and I hope you get a rash on your breasts.))**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the f*ck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the f*cking bastard told me to f*cking kill Harry, But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco**. **But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will f*cking kill Draco**."**I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you f*cking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you f*cking poser muggle bitch!" (see, is that out of character?)** (No, actually. Go Draco.)**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying **(Never fucking mind.)**

We practiced for one more hour.**(I'm glad you care so much about him, you are going to sing inane emo songs instead of comforting him.)**

Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely**(How does one cry wisely? I would like to cry wisely.)** (See that's basically not swearing and this time he was really upset and you will see why)

"Ebony, Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."**(….you just said vampires cannot die by doing that.)**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

AN: I said stop flaming you preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues!

P.S. See for yourself if it's stupid**, **BTW fangz **(Please stop it.)**to my friend raven for helping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrified**. **B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her to f*ck off and I ran to my room crying to myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a perv that way.**(….I think you're the perv.)**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.**(Real people who cut their wrists usually are so messed up that they can't feel pain. Ask Kody.)**

They got all over my clothes so I took them offand jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.

I grabbed a steakand almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so f*cking depressed**(No you were not. Depressed people to the degree you are trying to convey would not be in the bath because they don't care much about personal care. See; women stop putting on makeup, men stop shaving, etcetera.)**! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with laceall over it sadly. I put on black high heelswith pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't f*cking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!**(What the hell is masticating?)**

They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"Ew, you f*cking pervs, stop looking at we naked! Are you pedos**(Pedobear loves this)** or what!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra**!"**he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.**(Is there a child in there?)**

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke.**(They were shot 'a gazillion times' and…lived?)**

Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - Nooooooooooooo!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"**(Hagrid is the groundskeeper you idiot.)**

"This cannot be." Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors

"You don't have any!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumphantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"**(Lupin: eternal optimist. Though why you'd find her attractive, I'm not quite sure.) **

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"Because…because**…"** Hagrid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent**(There is no such god. Damn. Thing.****)**

"Because you're goffic?" Snape asked in a little afraid voice because he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan. **(I think Snape is smart enough to know there is no connection. I know many Christian Goths, many Pagan Goths, etc.)**

"Because I LOVE HER!"**(Course you do.)**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

AN: Stop flaming ok Hagrid is a pedo too**, **a lot of people in American schools are like that**(Actually a very small percentage of educators are.) **I wanted to address the issue! How do you know Snape isn't Christian plus Hagrid isn't really in love with Ebony that was Cedric ok!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver**(please just stop.)** knife that Draco had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"No!" I thought it was Hagrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG Nooooo! My scar hurts!" and then…his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**(red….whites…)**

I stopped. "How did you know?"** (It is on his body….just saying.)**

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"No!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me**(he turned it into a sacred symbol of a gentle nature based religion that has a rule, do no harm? I'm paraphrasing there.)** and I always cover it up with foundation**(So manly.)"**

he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…Voldemort has him bondage

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists.**(Woah, teleportation.)**

Snape and Loopin and Hagrid were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were paedophilesand you can't have those f*cking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot girls**(Actually, most pedophiles or rapists tend to go for women with low self esteem, aka the 'ugly' girls. Since they have no self confidence, it is easy for them to be manipulated. Um, duh.) ** Dumbledore had constipated the video camera they took of me naked.

I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway, Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses

"Enoby I need to tell you something." he said in a very serious voice, giving me the roses.

"F*ck off." I told him. "You know I f*cking hate the color pink anyway**(Why is the inside of your coffin pink?)**, and I don't like f*cked up preps**(….isn't he in your 'goffik' band?)** like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being goffic. **(And is yet in your goffik band. Also, it's spelled G-O-T-H-I-C.****)**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep**(poser…prep. Whaaat?) "**I asked because I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't" I replied. "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being viewed by Snap and Loopin**."** Who mastabated (see, is that spelled wrong?)**(Yes)** to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angrily.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered "Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you had to say!".

"That's not a spell that's an MCRsong." I corrected him wisely. **(Well DUH. That is your favorite band as you have reminded us many MANY times.)**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cords." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio (for all you cool goffik MCR fans out there, that is a tribute! Especially for raven I love you girl!) imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black.**(You've said. 4 words ago.)**

Now I knew he wasn't a prep.**(Oh shit, black fire and MCR lyrics, such strong evidence!)**

"OK, I believe you, now where the f*ck is Drako?"

Hagrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could see nothing.

"You see, Ebony," Dumbledore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "To see what is in the flames (Haha you reviewers flame**, **geddit **(No.)**?) you must find yourself first, K?"

"I have found myself ok you mean old man!" Hargrid yelled.

Dumbledore looked shocked. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.**(Yes he would've you're just a horrid writer.)**

Hagrid stormed off back into his bed. "You are a liar, professor Dumbledore!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather mini-dress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. **(Hope. You. Get. A. Rash.)** There was some corset stuff on the front.**(Lacing?)** Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots**(Stop with the goddamn fishnets. You sound like a hooker.)** with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring**(You want to look like a dead zombie chick.)** (if you don't know who she is you're a prep so f*ck off! **(She's a character in a horrible American remake of a Japanese horror film. Some people do not like horror films, including goth people, so not knowing who a dead zombie chick is does not make you a prep.**) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawaii**(….cute.) **girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)**(Kody: JUST. FUCKING. STOP.)** you do too." I said sadly, but I was still upset.

I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood.

I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snape and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time.

I went to some classes.

Vampire was in Care of Magical Magic Creatures**. **He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco.

He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.**(and nobody has said anything. And he's in a class.)**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an equally sad way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then…we jumped on each other and started screwing each other

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGogglewho was watching us and so was everyone else. **(Yeah, that's what happens when you start fucking a guy in the middle of class you poser whore.)**

"Vampire you f*cker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! Nooooo! My scar hurts!" and then…. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**(**

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…Voldemort has him in bondage!" **(DIDN'T THIS SCENE JUST HAPPEN!)**

Special fangz to raven my goffic blood sister wty you're supposed to write this!

Hey raven, do you know where my sweater is?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

AN: Raven fangz for helping me again I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard but that guy is such a f*cking sex bomb! Preps stop flaming!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumbledore**!"** we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" **(Yay Dumbledore!)** he asked angrily.

"Voldemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.** (So in sync…creeeeepy.)**

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school, especially with you Ebony**(YES. YESYESYES GO DUMBLEDORE!)**." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away.

Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned (AN: don't you think gay guyz are like so hot!)**(No, and I bet if you saw the average gay guy couple making out, you would go all homophobe on them.)**

"It's okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood**. **Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then…suddenly we were in Voldemort's lair!**(wow. This was the brilliant plan?)**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra **(….Allah. Kedavrah.)**

It was…Voldemort!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

AN: F*ck off preps ok! Raven fangz for helping again. I'm sorry I couldn't update but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital because I slit my wrists.**(thanks for sharing.)**

PS I'm not updating until you give me 10 good reviews!

WARNING: Some of this chapter is extremely scary**(….)**. Viewer excretion__advised.

We ran to where Voldemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was.**(….peter Pettigrew.)**

Draco was there crying tears of blood**(Woah lots of blood tears.)**. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps**(….WTF.)**!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun.

He then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes**(He wants some of your vagina.)**. "Ebony-I-love-you-will-you-have-sex-with-me." he said.**(I can tell he is such a guy.)** (in this he is sixteen yrs old so he's not a paedophile ok)

"Huh?" I asked.**(….is that really that confusing?)**

"Ebony I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. **(It's WORMTAIL.)**

I started laughing crudely. "What the f*ck? You torture my boyfiend and then you expect me to f*ck you? God, you are so f*cked up you f*cking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart.

Blood poured out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around Then he fell down and died**. **I burst into tears sadly.

"Snaketail **(Wormtail.)**what art thou doing?" called VoldemortThen… he started coming**! **We could hear his high heels clacking to us.**(he…has heels.)**

So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts

We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.**(such a literacy hero. Truly greater than the adventures of Allen Quartermain.)**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw

He had a sex-pack (geddit 'cause he is so sexy**(That's an awful joke.)**) and a really huge you-know-what**(penis)** and everything.

"Its so unfair!" I yelled. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls**(….Kody wants to strangle the author of this story with her bare hands.)**and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such f*cking sluts." answered Draco.**(Your girlfriend fucked 'Vampire' while you were missing presumed dead.)**

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail **(Wormtail)** is in love with me!"**(MARY MOTHER FUCKING SUE.)**

"I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily.**(You are not a Satanist if you worship satan.)**

(and don't worry Ebony isn't a snob or anything but a lot of people have told her she's pretty) "I'm good at too many things**(Mary sue alert.)!**Why can't I just be normal? It's a f*cking curse!" I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

AN: Stop flaming ok! BTW you suck**, **from now on every time someone flames me I'm going to slit my wrists**(that a promise?)**Fangz to raven your helping!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!" I shouted

I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key.**(My key is silver and shiney…)**

It had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it**(your….key?)** He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire.**(MM is like 50 and only fucks attractive women old enough to live on their own.)** I started to cry and weep**. **I took a razor and started to slit my wrists**. **I drank the blood all depressed.

Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy**(SLUT.)** on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt**. **Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters**(Again with the fishnets. Jesus.) **I put my ebony black hair out.**(Kody: I'm wearing black pants and an Umbrella Corporation T shirt. And brown eyeshadow.)**

Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usualI did some advanced Biology work**(MARY SUE.**

**Kody: I have an A in biology, Naomi! I lettered in academics!)**

I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

"Ebony I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I don't care what those f*cker preps and posers think."

"You're the most beautiful girl in the world."**(Course she is cuz she's a mary sue.)**

"Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna f*cking be with you. I f*cking love you**!."** Then…he started to sing "The Chronicles of Life and Death (we considered it our song now because we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class!**(….if any guy did that to me I would shank them)**

His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: Don't you think those guys are so hot? If you don't know who they are get the f*ck out of here!) .**(I know who they are. Dorian and MGG are still hotter.**

**Kody: I think Mark is hot!**

**Naomi:….you just admitted that in front of everyone on Fanfiction.**

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some f*cking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them.**(I think they are allowed to stare. Your boyfriend just sang to you.)**

"I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (I f*cking hate that bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story.**)** Then we went away holding hands**. **Loopin shouted at us but he stopped because everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked together.**(…wtf?)**

Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmeade right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went together.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

AN: You know what! Shut up ok! Prove to me you're not preps!**(prove to me you're goth.)**

Raven you suck you f*cking bitch give me back my f*cking sweater you're supposed to write this! Raven wtf you bitch you're supposed to do this! **(maybe she realized how much it sucked.)**

BTW fangz to **britney5655** for checking my Japanese!

We ran happily to Hogsmeade**. **There we saw the stage where GC**(Gay crabs!)** had played. We ran in happily. MCR was there playing "Helena". I was so f*cking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in the pictures.**(He has a daughter.)**

Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection**(ewewew.)** but it didn't matter because I knew know that we were the only true ones for each other

I was wearing a black leather mini-dress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets**(please stop with the leather and fishnets. You are a slut.)**. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up to the front of the band to stage-dive

Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was…Voldemort and the Death Dealers

"WTF Draco I'm not going to a concert with you!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if it's MCR and you no how much I like them **(Cuz he totally planed this.)**

"What because we…you know**…"** he fidgeted uncomfortably because guys don't like to talk about you-know-what.**(Oh yes. Yes they do. **

**Kody: me and my guy friends talk about boobies a lot.)**

"Yeah 'cause we you know!" I yelled in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an escort!

"OMFG WTF are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess you're a prep or a Christian**(Christians are very nice people. Kody's extended family is Christian.**

**Kody: I sound like such a mary sue. Oh god, the dancing, the theater, the honor roll….I'M NOT A MARY SUE I SWEAR!) **or what now?"

"No." he muttered loudly.

"Are you becoming a prep or what?" I shouted angrily.

"Ebony! I'm not! Please come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'The World is Black' by GC to me.**(Awful, unromantic song.)**

I was flattered because that's not even a single, he had memorized the lyrics just for me

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched for a while and I went up to my room.**(That made no sense.)**

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite girl." she said happily (she speaks Japanese so do I. That means 'how do you do' in Japanese**(please stop. You do not.)**

"BTW, Willow, that f*cking poser, got expelled. She failed all her classes and she skipped math." (AN: raven you f*cking suck! F*ck you!)**(….drama llama.)**

"It serves that f*cking bitch right." I laughed angrily. **(Woah. She's you're friend and you're a bitch.)**

Well anyway we were feeling all depressed. We watched some goffik movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas**(NBXmas is a happy movie. Most kids I know like it.)**"Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody Mary shook her head energetically lethargically.

"Oh yeah, I have a confession, after she got expelled I murdered her and then Loopin did it with her cause he's a necrophiliac."_** (**_**Kody: GASP!)**

"Kawaii." **(….cute?)** I commented happily. We talked to each other in silence for the rest of the movie.

"Oh hey BTW, I'm going to a concert with Draco tonight in Hogsmeade with MCR." I said. "I need to wear like the hottest outfit ever!"**(how much slutty can she get! I'm taking bets people! Undies and a tank top with fishnets? A leather swimsuit….and fishnets! Come on people!)**

B'loody Mary nodded energetically. "OMFG totally lets go shopping

"At Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my special Hot Topic Loyalty card **(It's a rewards card dumbass. Rather like my Beauty Insider card at Sephora.)**

"No." My head snapped up.

'What?" my head spun. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are you a prep?"**(…a lot of people shop at hot topic. Very few are goth.)**

"Noooo! Noooo!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffik stores near Hogwarts that's all

"Who told you about them" I asked sure it would be Draco or Diabolo or Vampire (don't even SAY that name to me**!**

"Dumbledore**(…)**She said. "Let me just call our brooms."

"OMFG Dumbledore?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punk-goff **(It's spelled G-O-T-H you 13 year old slut.)** stores e specially for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG hotter than Gerard except not because that's impossibleand he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for the real goffs." **(Kody: No one does that. It's not like I get emails from Kreepsville 666 cuz I'm a 'real goff.')**

"The real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yeah you wouldn't believe how many posers there are in this town man! Yesterday Loopin and Snape tried to buy a goffik camera pouch." He shook his head. "I didn't even know they had a camera."

"OMFG no they're going to spy on me again!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. **(Trying to be Helena. You fail.)**

"Oh my Satan **(….stop.)** you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totally hot." said B'loody Mary.

"You know what I am going to give it to you free 'cause you look really hot in that outfit. Hey are you going to be at the concert tonight?" he asked.**(NO ONE DOES THAT.)**

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Tara Way what's yours" **(lolslut.)**

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "Maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so because I am going there with my boyfriend Draco you sick perv!" I yelled angrily**(how is he supposed to know that?)**

But before he could beg me to go with him, Hagrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG Ebony you need to get back into the castle now!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

AN: I said stop flaming the story! If you're a prep then don't read it**! **You can tell whether you're a prep or not by my quiz, it's on my homepage.**(What if I prove I'm 'goffik' and keep 'flaming'?)** If you're not then you rock. If you are then f*ck off! Please Willo isn't really a prep. Raven please do this. I'll promise to give you back your poster!

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes and stuff for free. He said he would help us with makeup if he wanted 'cause he was really into fashion and stuff. (he's bisexual).**(Is everyone 'bi' in your sad little world?)**

Hagrid kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts

"WTF Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "F*ck off you f*cking bastard**." **Well anyway Willow came. Hagrid went away angrily.

"Hey bitch**, **you look kawaii." **(Kawaii is NOT a catch all term, like you think.)** she said.

"Yeah, but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly because Willow's really pretty and everything.

She was wearing a short black corset-thingy**, **with blood red lace**(Why is it always red? Why not purple, or green?**

**Kody: I like green!)** on it and a black blood-red **(How is it black and yet blood red?)** miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black pointy bootsthat showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice body with big boobsand everything. She was thin enough to be anorexic.**(It is impossible to have large breasts if you are skinny. Breasts are made from FAT. If you have no FAT you cannot have large breasts.**

**Boobies.)**

"So are you going to the concert with Draco?" she asked.

"Yeah." I said happily.

"I'm goi ng with Diabolo." she answered happily.**(Learn to spell.)**

Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both looking extremely hot and sexy and you could tell they thought we were hot to.

Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' **)(Adam! From THE BIBLE!) **on it. He was wearing tons off makeup just like Marilyn Manson**(I bet he looked like a girl Know who doesn't need makeup and random 666's everywhere to be hot? Dorian Gray. Oh yes. Man velvet.) **Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from the Warped Tower**. **B'loody Mary was going to the concert with Dracola**(Learn. To. Spell.)**. Dracola used to be called Neville but it turned out that he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires.**(Just like everyone else.)**

They died in a car crash**(Course they did.)**. Neville converted to Satanism **(Do I NEED to say it again.)**and he went goth. **(Goth=/=Satanism.)**

He was in Slytherin now. He was wearing a black Warped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair with red streaks in it. We call him Dracula now.** (Don't disgrace Mr. Dracula's name. He's a war terror for a reason. Right sir.**

**Vlad Dracula: Like totally. Wanna see my 'impaler'?)**

Well anyway we all went to Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit because we're goffik. **(Is everything black goffik now?)**) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crack**(….get arrested and beaten in prison.)**. Draco and I made out. We made fun of those stupid f*cking preps.

We soon got there…I gasped.

Gerard was the sexiest guy ever! He looked even sexier then he did in his pics.**(You've said. And he's not.)**

He had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing ethnic voice.**(….you realize Ethnic means…oh never mind.)**

We moshed to "Helena" and some other songs.

Suddenly Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the other members. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man

with no nose and red eyes. Everyone ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came.**(Suddenly Voldemort is a prep? He wears navy blazers with tan chino's and plaid ties! AND SWEATERVESTS!)**

It was…Voldemort and the Death Dealers!

"You moronic idiots!" he shouted angstily. "Ebony, I told you to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now…I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Suddenly a gothic old man flew in on his broomstick. He had long black hair and a long black bread. He was wearing a black robe that said 'Avril Lavigne' **(How manly…and Avril is NOT GOTH.) **on the back. He shot a spell and Voldemort ran away. It was…Dumbledore!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

AN: I said stop flaming! If you do then you're a f*cken prep**(Didn't know constructive criticism made one an attractive rich kid at a boarding school.)**! Fangz to raven for the help and stuff, you rock! And you're not a prep. Fangz for my sweater

PS The other reason Dumbledore swore is because he trying to be goffik so there!**(I don't like to swear. Very goth. No swearing. Except when reading this.)**

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of itand put on some black eyeliner, black eyeshadow, blood-red lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly**(S-L-U-T. and leather is very expensive and if you bought a ripped dress…YOU GOT RIPPED OFF HO.)**. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.**( Kody: I want a belly button piercing…I would get a pretty rose.)**

(The night before Draco and I went back to the skull (geddit skull because I'm goffik and I like death**(….totally. Stereotyyyypppeee.)**Dumbledore chased Voldemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red.**(….)**

There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom**\** We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what**(If you can wear a slutty dress, you can say sex.)** to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Great Hall. There all the walls were painted black and the tables were black too. But you could see that there was pink paint underneath the black paint.**(….)**

And there were posters of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.**(When were they goth?)**

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather **(Valken: STOP WEARING FUCKING LEATHER YOU WILL SCUFF IT AND THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE YOU SLUTS!**

**Naomi: thanks.) **mini with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets**(I'm about to count every time they wear fishnets.)** and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs **(So you can see her panties…?) **and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong**. **The boys joined in because they were bi.**(Seriously, Neville and Ron are bi now?.)**

"Those guys are so f*cking hot." Neville was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everythingcame. He was the same one who had chassed away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had diedhis hair black.

"…Dumbledore!" we all gasped. **(You said it was Dumbledore last chapter. Try to keep up, honey.)**

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As you can see I gave the room a makeover. What do you think about it.

Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor**(Gryffindor are pimps.)** started to cheer. While we goths just looked at each other all disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!

"BTW you can call me Albert." He called as we left to our classes.

"What a f*cking poser!" **(We get it, everyone but the ACTUAL posers in this story are posers.) ** Draco shouted angrily as we went to Transfiguration. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous.

I could see him crying bloodin a gothic way (geddit, way like Gerard** (Kody: he never did that. I used to be a huge fan of him. It never happened.**) but I didn't say anything.

"I bet he's having a mid-life crisis**!"** Willow shouted.

I was so f*cking angry**(Sexist bitch.)**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19. I'm not ok I promise.**(Look, another chapter title…)**

AN: Please stop flaming the story, if you do you're a f*cking prep and you're jealous**(….please shut up, we get it….)** ok!

From now on I'm going to delete you're mean reviews**(…)**! BTW Ebony is a pureblood**(Course she is, Mary sue.)** so there!

Fangz to raven for the help!

All day we sat angrily thinking about Dumbledore. We were so f*cking pissed off**(Cuz he went crazy?)**. Well, I had one thing to look forward too; the MCR concert. It had been postponed, so we could all go

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut**(blah blah blah we get it you cut yourself.)** classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (aren't sensitive bi guys so hot**?(…no. Neither are sensitive straight men crying.)**

"No one f*cking understands me**!(Look! Angst!)"** he shouted angrily as his black hairwent in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit, instead of tie 'cause I'm goffik**(…no. You are an awful jokestress.)**) I was wearing a black leather low cut top **(First I bet its not real leather anymore and second you are a slut.)**with chains all over it and a black leather mini, **(Get a rash in your vagina.)**black high heeled boots and a cross belly thing. My hair was all up in a messy really high bun like Amy Leein Going Under. (email me if you wanna see the pic)**(It was a ponytail idiot.)**

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

"Buy-but-but**-" **he grunted.

"You f*cking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it f*cking looks like!" he shouted.**(What the hell is going on?)**

But it was too late. I knew what I heard**(WHAT IS GOING ON, KODY!) ** I ran to the bathroom angrily, crying. Draco banged on the door. I wept and wept as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my face like Benji in the video for "Girls and Bois"**!)**(raven that is soo our video**!)**I took out a cigarette and started to smoke pot

Suddenly Hagrid came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a f*cking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "WTF do you think you're doing in the girl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Hagrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it to be Tom Riddle or maybe Draco but it was Dumbledore**.**

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wannabe-goffik purse** (He owns a PURSE.)**. "What are you wearing to the concert?"

"You know who MCR are!" I gasped.

"No, I just saw there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks were going to." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20.

AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, ok preps! Fangz to raven for the help! Oh yeah, btw, I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next 3 days so don't expect updates.**(I live in NEW ORLEANS. Way cooler.)**

All day I wondered what the surprise wasMeanwhile, I put on a black leather mini, **(Yeah yeah yeah 'leather'.)**a black corset with purple lace stuff all over it, and a black gothic compact boots.

MCR was going to do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited**. **Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to "Thank you for the Venom" . I got all mad and turned it off, but secretly I hoped inside that it was Draco so we could do it again. **(She's NOT A SLUT ATALL!)**

"What the f*cking h*ll are you doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Are you gonna come rape me or what?" I yelled

I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since he was a pedo. (**No you're not, shut up.)**

"No, actshelly (geddit, h*ll**)) **can I please borrow some condoms." he growled angrily.**(Ask the slut, Ebony!)**

"Yah, so you can f*ck your six-year-old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarcastically

"F*cker." He said, going away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation**(….I wear expensive foundation. NC20. Or is it NW20? Shit….)**. Then I went. Then I gasped …Snake and Loopin were in the middle of the empty hall, doing it, and Dobby was watching!

"Oh my god you ludicrousidiot!" they both shouted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying**(DOBBY!)**. They got up, though. Normally I wood have been turned on (I love seeing guys do it**(…I doubt you ever have. )**) but both of them were f*cking preps.**(So is everyone else except you. Are we done now?)** (btw snake is moved to griffindor now)

"WTF is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (see, I spelled that

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.** (Why would he tell a 17 year old his personal business?)**

"You dimwit!." Snakebegan to shout angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. You could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well excuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"

"It was to blackmail you." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you can't f*cking rat me out or I'll show this to Dumbledork.**(They can has sex, they're ADULTS.)**

So f*ck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my woundat them and they tripped over it.

Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely f*cking hot.**(NO)**

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.

"Oh he's being a f*cking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his held. "You wanna cum with me? To the concert?"

Then…. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious blackhad given it to him. The license plate on the front said **MCR666(Again with 666. I'm not going to explain it again.)** on it. The one on the back said 'ENOBY' on it.

…I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR was there, playing.

Vampire and I began to make out, moshing to the music. I gasped, looking at the band

I almost had an o*******(….ooookay then)**

Gerard was so f*cking hot! He began to sing 'Helena' and his sexy beautiful voice began to fill the hall…and then, I heard some crying. I turned and saw Draco, crying in a corner.**(SO MANLY!)**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

AN: F*ck you ok! You f*cking suck. It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong ok, 'cause that bitch raven 'cause it f*ck you preps! Whoops sorry raven fangz for the help

BTW Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed! **(Kody: when I went to New Orleans I got to go inside the St-Germaine house where multiple murders have occurred. I love Southern Hospitality. The owner offered us lots of food and drink.)**

Later we all went in the skull.

Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco are you okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not you f*cking bitch!" he shouted angrily**(Yay Draco)**. He started to run out of the place in a suicidal way**(Again with the suicide. Ach.)**. I started to cry because I was afraid he would commit suicide.**(…du-uh.)**

"It's ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortingly. "I'll make him feel better."

"You mean you'll go f*ck him don't you!" I shouted angrily**(Well. Um. Yes.)** Then I ran to get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come !" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face.

I was so turned on because I love sensitive bi guys**(…We know.)**. (if you're a homophone then f*ck of!)**(Wasn't it only a few chapters ago, you used the term 'gay fags'? Yeah, hypocrite.)**

And then…we heard some footsteps! Vampire got out his black invincibility coke

We both got under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHO'S THERE!" he shouted angrily**(Norris is the cats name.)**We saw Filth come**(Filth, or FILCH is actually the caretaker.)**He went under the invisibility cloak and started to meowloudly.

"IS ANYONE THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No f*ck you, you preppy little poser son of a f*cking bich**!(…it's a janitor. He's not 'posing' as goth. Face it, dumbfuck, not everybody is a poser. Not everyone wants to be goth. Sorrrrryyyy)** Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME WHO SAID THAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Then he heard Filch meow**. **"Filth is there anyone under the cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded**. **And then…Vampire frenched me**(Slut.)**! He did it just as…Mr. Norris was taking off the cloak!**(YAY!)**

"WHAT THE-" he yelled but it was too late 'cause now we were running away from him. And then we saw Draco crying and bursting into tears and slitting his wrists outside of the school.

"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"**(You just made out with Vampire. He is not alright.)**

"I guess though." Draco wept. We went back to our coffins frenching each other.

Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (see, isn't that depressing**? (Radio is a depressing movie.**

**Kody: I can't watch Tarzan anymore. The Phil Collins song makes me too sad. On a serious note, I love you Grandma. Miss you so much. I hope you're proud of me.)** on the gothic red bed together.

As I was about to put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now**. **There was a knock on the door and Fug and the Mystery of Magic walked into the school!

**(Kody: sorry about that everyone. I hate to end on a serious note. Just ignore that part and follow the jokes, ok?)**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

AN: STFU! Preps stop flaming ok, if you don't like it f*ck off**. **I know it's Mr. Noris its raven's fault ok! You suck! No just kidding raven you f*cking rock, preps suck!

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic.**(…)**

Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing black lacy leather pajamas.**(lacy leather….How the….?)**

Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me were... B'loody Mary**(Random apostrophe included!)**, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula**(DracOla)** and Willow!

I opened my crimson eyes.**(You saw them in front of you….THEN opened your eyes!)**

Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wore a black poofy skirt with lace on it and black gothic boots that were attached to the top.**(Slutty. Next?)**

Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans.

Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and black jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just like Gerard Way, and almost as f*cking sexy.**(…Gerard Way is almost twice your age and has a daughter. Ew.)** Vampire looked like Joel Madden**.**

. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her cleavage **(Look, slutty cleavage.)** with a white apron that said **'bich'** and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once.**(I saw that picture. It had a message. How bullying hurts innocence. Clearly you DIDN'T FUCKING GET IT.)**

Darkness (who is Jenny) **(AKA Ginny)** was there too.

She was wearing a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle.

It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire.**(Same as everyone in this room.)**

He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor.

He had raped them and stuff before too.**(And stuff? Please just die you miserable human being.)**

They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.**(Course they did. Because in your little world, all 'goff's are either messed up or Satanists. Neither of which are accurate.)**

"OMFG" I yelled as I jumped up. "Why the f*ck are u all here?"

"Enoby something is really f*cked up." Draco said.

"OK but I need to put my f*cking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.**(….What's with the anger?)**

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. You're so f*cking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.**(…again. Kawaii means cute, adorable and is applied to small fluffy animals or Justin Beiber.)**

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why you're being all erective**(Do you mean secretive?)**

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. **(I bet you cake your makeup on like every other misguided 'goff' 'satanist' girl. See, instead of going through the babybat phase most of us go through at age 13, you are clearly going through it at 17. Or you have daddy issues.)**Then I came.

We all went outside the Great Hall and looked in from a window. A f*cking prep called Britney from Gryffindor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her**(Cuz she's not wearing leather and looking like a hooker from hell? I'd say hello. Then ask her where she got her skirt and if it came in gray.)**. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.

Cornelia Fudgedwas there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS**!** yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge.**(He's the headmaster.)**

"YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS!

YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "But we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."**(Of fucking course she is.)**

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.

AN: Shut the f*ck up bitches! You're just jealous because I got 10,000 reviews!**(Kody: my fanfics are critically acclaimed!)**

Fangz to raven for the help and telling me about the books, girl you rock, let's go shopping together!

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.

"MR. WAYWHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily.**( who is the 'Mr.'?)**

Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody, cum in!"

Well we all came in angrily. **(As usual. They make herbal supplements for such anger nowadays, ya know.)**So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.**(..no. Ville Valo is sexy, not goth, but a sexy man who mnages to pull off the Jim Morrison look very well. So fuck off.)**

I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup. **(Where'd you get the food?)** Then I heard someone shooting angrily.

I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at each other.**(Woah random.)**

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You f*cking bustard!"yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!"**(You want to SHIT next to her.)**

"No I do!" shouted.

"No she doesn't f*cking like you, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No f*ck you motherf*cker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire.

And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in that way you perv)**(No one was thinking that way. You perv.)**They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbledore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe.**(Like we don't all know who it is.)**

All the glass in the window he flew through fell apart.

Britney, that f*cking prep, started to cry.**(When did Britney get here? She's a good kid.)**

Vampire and Draco stopped fighting…I stopped eating**. **Everyone gasped**. **The room fell silent…Voldemort!**(….duh.)**

"Eboby…Ebony…" Darth Valer said evilly in his raspy voice"Thou have failed your mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before thenI shall kill Draco too!"

"Please don't make me kill him please!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely**(Crudely….like he heard a dirty joke?)**. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into tears**. **Draco and Vampire came to contort me.

Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic**. (That looks weird and creepy. Trust me, I've seen it a lot. Not 'cool' or 'gothic'.)**

. I had a vision where I saw some lighting flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.**(Just randomly has a razor.)**

"No!" I screamed sexily**. **Suddenly I locked upand stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony are you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everything's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensitive.

"No it's not!" I shouted angrily.**(sexy to sad to anger. Ma'am you are bipolar.)**

Tears of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in the Ring 2!"

"It's ok girl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sinister about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and then we went.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24.

AN: Preps stop flaming the story you're just jealous so f*ck you ok go to h*ll**(we get it, slow bus.)**! Raven fangz for the help!

Well we had Deviationnext so I got to ask Professor Trevolry about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese.**(…)**

She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick.

She's the coolest f*cking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes.**(Dead hair? Hon, by definition hair is dead. It was never alive. I'm so sorry.)**

(her mom was a vampire. **(Well duh, if you're in this story, you have the same backstory.)** She's also half Japanese so she speaks it and everything. She and B'loody Mary get along grate) She's really young for a teacher.

Today she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress.**(Stop with the leather and lace.)**

We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong.

I raised my hand**. **I was wearing some black nail Polish with red pentagrams on it.**(…I assume you mean the upside down kind because if it's the point up kind I will strangle you with Dorian's lace shirt.)**

"What is it Ebony?" she asked.

"Hey I love your nail polish where'd you get it, Hot Topic?"

"Yeah." I answered. **(That's the worst nail polish ever. Just saaaaying.)**All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looksI gave them the middle finger"Well I have to talk to you about some things**. **When do you want to do it?"

"How about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class f*cking dismissed everyone." Professor Trevolry said and she let everyone go.

"Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and some other preps.

"Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lots of visions**."** I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried that Draco is going to die.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in**(lock in?) **I looked at it.

"What do you see?" she asked.

I said "I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."**(…..Please, await my arrival with Doriand flimsy linen shirt. Yes. You are going to die by man lace.)**

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet**(I think you mean Jacket…)**, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and black Congress shoes.**(Shoes from Congress! I bet Obama wears them.)**

"Okay, you can go now, see ya c*nt." said Professor Sinister.**(Any other school, this teacher would be tied to the stake and burned by parents.)**

"Bye bitch." I said waving.**(And Enoby sue here would be expelled for life.)**

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him**. **We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.**(….exhibited.**

**WTF.)**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

AN: Stop flaming ok if you don't then I'll tell Justin to beat you up**(…Valken, bitch just said she thinks some guy named Justin could beat up Jason!**

**Valken: oh HELL no bitch!) **And I'll tell althenredz to put viruses in your computer! F*ck you**(That's illegal and if I get a virus I can say who did it. Dumbass.)**! raven fangz for the help!

I was so excited. I followed Draco wondering if we were going to do it again**(They are. )**. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.**(S&M)**

"Ebony, what the f*ck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco putting his gothic white hand with black nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant tomorrow**.** I grumbled in a sexy voice.**(Grumbling, by nature, is not sexy.)**

He took out a heroin cabaret**(Let's look up what heroin does to the body, ok kids? Slurred speech, twitching, god AWFUL withdrawals, dry mouth, convulsions, hallucinations, mood swings, mental deterioration, liver disease, and if you use dirty needles like I'm sure YOU do, you run the risk of HIV/AIDS.)** and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork.

He started to fly the car into a tree**. **We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.

"And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice**. **We started tilingof each other's cloves fervently.**(cloves?)**

He took off my black thong and my black leather bar**(rash on your nipples, Enoby. It's not fun.))**. I took of his black boxersThen… he put his throbbing you-know-what**(Penis.)** in my tool**(You call your vagina a TOOL.) **sexily.

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an o*******. **We started frenching passively. Suddenly… I fell asleep.**(rude.)**

I started having a dream. In it a black guywas shooting two goffik men with long black hair**.**

"No! Please don't f*cking kill us!" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.**(…. If you weren't an idiot, I'd say this was commentary on Sophie Lancaster and Damien Echols, but you ARE an idiot.)**

"No! Oh my f*cking god**!"** I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.**(I have gray eyes. Way sexier.)**

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face**. **I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his black Linkin Park mobile.

But the worst thing was who the people who were shot in the dream were…Lucian and Serious!**(Who now? Lucius? Draco's dad? He's a blonde, idiot.)**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

AN: Preps stop flaming the story ok**(don't think I will.)!**If you don't like the story then go f*ck yourself you f*cking prep! You suck! Oh, and I wasn't being rasist **(yes. You were.)**ok!

A few minutes later Vampire came to the tree. He was wearing a black leather jackson**(…)**, black leather pants and a Good Charlotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire." I said **flirtily(…just stop. You are not that hot.)as** I started to sob.

Draco hugged me sexily trying to comfort me**(How does one hug sexily?)**. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh f*ck it!" Vampire shouted angrily**!**. He started to cry sadly. "What f*cking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have to tell Dumbledore."

We ran out of the tree**(?)** and into the castle. Dumblydorwas sitting in his office.

"Sire our dads have been shot!" Draco said**(Whose dad's? Harry's dad is dead. Sirius is his godfather, and by 7****th**** year is dead.)** while we wiped sum tears from his white face**. **"Enoby had a vision in a dream."

Dubleodore started to cockle.**(You mean cackle)**

"Hahahaha!**(This is so OOC)** And How do you aspect me**)** to know Ebony's not divisional

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherf*cker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (see is that out of character?).**(yup.)**

"You know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some f*cking ppl out there to look for Seriesand Lucian- pronto!"

"Okay." he said in an intimated**(Dumbledore, intimidated?) **voice. "Where are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "Longdon." I said.**(London. You can't spell fucking LONDON.)**

I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff**. **After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them.

After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire, and I all left to our rooms together**.**

I went with Draco to wait in the nurse's office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room.**(Jesus, Vampire.)**

We looked at each other's gothic, depressed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers…and Professor Sinister was behind them!


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27. vampires will never hurt you**(Look, another inane title!)**

AN: You know what! I don't give a f*ck what you preps think about me!**(Course you don't. Tell me, were you bullied at a young age? By a blonde girl that looks like H. Duff?)**

So stop flaming the f*cking story bichez!

Fangz to raven for your love and support and help, I love you girl, sorry I couldn't update lol I was really depressed and I slit my wrists I had to go to the hospital**(No one cares, and its all in your head.)**, raven you rock girl!

Everyone in the room started to cry happily- I had saved them.

Draco, Lucian, Serious and Vampire all came to hug me**. **The nurse started to give them medicine

"Come on Enoby." said Professor **(Frank) **Sinatra.

She was wearing a gothic black leader**(rashes in your vagina and on your body. See, Enoby, Tara, who the fuck ever, Leather, or 'leader' is a non breathable fabric. If you wear it, and sweat (and you will), you WILL get rashes. Dumbass.)** dress with a corset top and real vampire blood on it and f*cking black platinum boots**.**"I have to tell you the f*cking perdition."

I looked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room.

I had changed, Professor Sinister took out some black cards**(I think you mean tarot cards, not that you would actually know how to read them.)**. She started to look into a black crucible ball**.**

She said…"Tara, I see dark times are near." **(Well duh.)** She said badly. She peered into the balls. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had.

"When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he got his heart broken**, **do you think he would still become Volxemort if he was in love**?(Yes. Because to Voldemort, if you had actually read the fucking books, does not care for love. He likes the power more.)"** I shook my head. "You must go back in time and seduce him**(Mary fucking sue.)**. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did death's touch sign**(…)**I went outside again sadly

"What f*cking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire. "Yeah, what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and B'loody Mary?

I was about to tell them but everyone was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being found**. **Everyone was proud of me**(Course they are, you're a mary sue.)** but I just wanted to talk to Draco. They were cheering my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumbledore**(What the hell?)**. A banner was put up. Lots of f*cking preps were there obviously trying to be goffik wearing the HIM sign on their hands-**(The heartagram, dumbass? If you're going to use the symbol at least learn the term for it.**

**Poser. Ooh, no, prep. Yeah. I just called you a prep.)** despite them not having aksh*lly heard of him

Even looked happy. A black and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyle set up some fireworks in the shape of skulls from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes

I put on my invisibility cloak with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside together.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.

AN: I said stop flaming the story it was a mistake when Professor Trelory said that ok! Go to f*cking h*ll! You suck! Fangz to filyfor the help! Raven have fun with kiwi!

We went into a black room. The walls were black with portraits of gothic bands like MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them**(None of those bands are goth. Like at all.)**. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red velvet lined the black box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skulls in them. I was wearing a black corset bar with purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings**(Wow you're a slut.)** and a black leather thong underneath.

I sat down one of the chairs dispersedly. So did Draco and Vampire

"Are you okay?" Vampire asked putting his alabaster hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing black nail polish with red crosses on it.**(Thought you were a 'satanist', dear?)**

"Yeah I guess." I said sadly. Draco also put his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my black lipstick. "The problem is…I have to seduce Volxemort.**(Course you do. And only you.**

**Valken: the strippers said they'd do it for the good of never having to read this again.)** I'll have to go back in time"

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.** (Draco is so fucking manly. But man lace is manlier.)**

"It's okay Eboby**."** he said finally. "But what about me? You're not gonna break up or anything, are you?"**(…yes she is.)**

"Of course not!" I gasped.**(Do you have asthma?) **

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then…I took off Draco's MCR shirt and seductively took of his pants. He was hung like a stallone**(Yeah lets just fuck in front of your ex, Draco. Not a slut ATALL.)** He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it**. **Black roses were around it. I gasped. He looked exactly like Gerard Way.**(No, Draco does not.)**

Vampire took a video camera. (I had said it was ok before** (I hope it ends up on youtube and you get 0 views because you are so gross. You slut.)**

I took of my clothes then we were in the ride of are lives.

We started frenching as we climbed into the coffin. He put his spock**(It's a SPOCK now…)** in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel you I need to feel you." he screamed as we got an o*****. We watched, Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly…

"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING!"

It was…Snope and Professor McGoggle!**(Kick their asses out.)**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29.

AN: Shut the f*ck up! You're just jealous 'cause you're preps**(No I'm not)** so f*ck you! Raven you rock girl fangz for the help MCR ROX 666!

"Oh my Satan**!(…Satan hates you. Damballah hates you. Semedi hates you. Even fucking Erzuli hates you.)"** we screamed as we jumped out of the coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.

"COME NOW!" Preacher McGongelyelled. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop grabbed the carameland put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the f*ck!" Vampire shouted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the f*ck are you going to do with the f*cking camera**(Burn it.)**?" Draco demanded all protective, looking at me **longingly** with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehorknows your little secret and if you do this again, then you will go to St. Mango's. So give back the camera!"

"Hahahaha the Mystery of Magicthinks he is crazy there is no way they will believe him." Snooplaughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mouth you insolent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle**(yay!)**. She made us come into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these weird tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit 'cause he's a sexbomb**(What am I even supposed to 'get'. Crying men are not attractive. Including Dean Winchester.)** lol Tom Felton rules for life but not as much as Gerard, you're sex on legsI love you, you f*cking rock, marry me**!(He's already married, and has A BABY.)).**

I started to cry tears of blood (it happens in vampire chronicles, raven said so okso f*ck you!).**(It is ok in those books because those are well written and logical.)**

Vampire took out a black handkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes

And then… he and Snoop both took out guns using magic**.**

They started to shoot each other angrily**. **None of the ballets got on each other yet. I took out my wand.

"Crosio**!" ** I shouted. Snap started to scream he dropped the gun

But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets

I stopped the curse. Professor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up**(Yay McGoogle)**

She took out a box of tools. Then she said "OK Serverus I'm going to go now**(Why did she take out a box of tools?)**." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.**(Vampire is a sensitive bi guy)**

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right**(Who's Evergreen?)**. Remember the video you took of Snake**(He masticated to it)**."

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!**(**_**Chains and whips excite me!)**_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30.**(IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS.)**

AN: Stop flaming the story ok you don't know what's even gonna happen ok!**(Yes, we do.)**

So full you! If you flame you will be a prep so all flamers can kiss my ass**(That's the criteria nowadays?)**

Sorry for sorry for saying Alzheimer's is dangerous**(Kody: my great grandpa died before I was born. He had alzheimers and couldn't remember his daughters' or wife's names. Fuck. Off you uneducated slutty poser.))** but that is the mystery'sopinion 'cause society basically sucks**. **Fangz to raven you rock bitch!

"No!" we screamed sadly. Snap started loafing meanly**(He made loaves of bread?)**

He took out a camera anvilly**.**

Then… he came towards Darko**(who now?)**!

He took some stones out of his pocket**. (Just stop it now, we know what's going to happen and you are going to do it wrong.) **He put the stones around Draco and lit a candle.

"What the f*ck are you doing!" I shouted angrily. Snoop laughed meanly**(People are strange)**. He pulled down his pants**. **I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-what!**(A dark mark. On his penis.)**

He waved his wand and a knife came. He gave the knife to me.

"You must stab Vampire." he said to me. "If you don't then I'll rape Draco**(Draco's a big boy, he can handle it.)**

"No you f*cking bastard!" I yielded.

But then Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes that looked so depressed and sexy. He looked exactly like a pentagram (lol geddit 'cause I'm a Satanist **(You don't even know what a pentagram is, idiot**) between Kurt Cobain**(Suddenly fucking Cobain is involved?)** and Gerard.

But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too with his goffik black hair**(Ashlee Simpson used to have black hair.) **I thought of the time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumbledore came and the time where Draco almost committed suicide and Vampire was so sportive**(By that you mean you fucked him while your boyfriend was being tortured.)**

Snape laughed angrily**(MWAHAWA!)**. He started to prey to Volxemort**.**

He started to do an incapacitation**(Incantation you fuckerrrr.)** dancing around the stokes, whipping Draco and Vampire.

Suddenly an idea I had**(Yoda you are).** I closed my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathic massage to Draco and Vampire so they would distract Snape.

"Dumbeldork will get you!" Draco shouted.

"Yeah, just wait until the Mystery finds out!" Vampire yelled**. **Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculous dunderhead**!"** Snoop yielded. He took off all of Draco's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him…

"Crosio!" I shouted pointing my wand. Snoop screamed and started running around the room screaming. Meanwhile I grabbed my black mobile and sent a txtto Serious. I stopped doing crucio

"You dunderhed! I'm going to kill**-"** shouted Snape but suddenly Serverus came. **(Severus and Snape are gasp, the same. Damn. Person.)**

Snake put the whip behind his back. "Oh hello, say I was just teaching them something." he lied**(While naked)**. But suddenly Lusian and Professor Trevolry came into the room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put them around Snap. Then Professor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go**."**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31.

AN: I said shut the f*ck up you quiephs**(…you crass slut.)**

Stop calling Ebony a Mary Sue ok! You don't even know what's going to happen ok so f*ck you**(yes we do.)**! Fangz to my BFF raven for the help

"I always knew you were on Voldemort's side, you son of a bitca**(Bitca)** (Buffy rocks!)." Serious said to Snape**(…read the books please. Snape is ACTUALLY the bestest person ever.)**

"No I'm not I was teaching them something!" Snap claimed**(While nekkid.)**

"Oh f*cking yeah?" I took some black veritaserum**(Truth Serum- now in black, for the poser in you!)** out of my pocket and gave it to Serverus.

He made Snap drink it. He did angrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap.

Then Professor Sinister and Lucian made us get out with them while Snape told his secrets. Lucian took Vampire and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a million times. Professor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I was going to go back in time to seduce Volxemort.**(No you will not. The strippers will be and they will do far better than you. Ready ladies?)**

Moving posters of MCR and Nirvana were all over**(And suddenly you're into Nirvana, when I bet all you've heard is All Apoligies or the cover of Heart Shaped Box by Evanescence.) ** Hermione, Darkness and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a black bag from Tom Rid's store**.**

"What's in the bag?" I asked Professor Trevolry**.**

"You will see." she said. I opened theebag. In it was a sexy tight low-smut black leather gothic dress**(Leather is not gothic, it's not real leather and you are a FUCKING STRUMPET.)**

It had red corset stuff**(Lacing.)** and there was a slit up the leg**(Slut. The one time I wore a dress slit up the sides was for that Erzuli ritual. And my dress was made out of cotton. And white. And not low cut.)**. I put it on. My friends helped me put on black fishnets and black pointy boots**(Stop stealing my expensive boots and you are a dirty whore.)** Willow had chosen.

Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blood-red lipstick

"You look f*cking kawaii, bitch**(Cute…ew. You are wearing slut gear and you just got called cute.)**." B'loody Mary said.

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in time." said Professor Sinister**(Duh)**. "You will have to do it in a few sessions." She gave me a black gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnets like in Resident Evil**(Alice put it in her thigh holster, not fucking fishnets and you are trying to be Alice, you are not.)**. Then she gave me a black time-tuner**(Why is it FUCKING BLACK.)**After an hour use the time turner to go back here." Professor Trevolry said.

Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Everyone went in front of .

"Good luck!" Everyone shouted. Darkness and Willow gave me death's touch sign**(stop it.)**. Then…I jumped sexily in to the Pensive.

Suddenly I was in front of the School. In front of me was one of the sexiest goth guys I had ever seen**(Kody: Unless it's Mark, who is not goth, Spencer Reid, also not goth, or Joe Crow, who is goth, this guy is not hot.)**. He was wearing long black hair, kinda like Mikey Wayonly black. He had green eyes like Billie Joe Armstrong and pale white skin. He was wearing a black ripped up suit with Vans. It was…Tom Bombadil!**(Who?)**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

AN: I said stop flaming I know his name isn't Tom Bombadil that was a mistake**! **If you don't like the story then you can go screw yourself! You suck!

"Hi." I said flirtatiously. "I'm Enoby Way, the new student**(S-L-U-T.)"** I shook my pale hands with their black nail polish with him

"The name's Tom." he said. "But you can call me Satan. That's my middle name**(Your parents are retarded.)**."

We shook hands. "Welcome in, we have to go upstairs." Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan…do you happen to be a fan of Green Day**(…Tom Riddle lived in the 1920's idiot.)** (since MCR and evinezenz don't exist yet then) I asked.

"Oh my f*cking god, how did you know?" Satan gasped**(Greenday is far older than I thought,,,)**. "Actually I like GC a lot too."(geddit 'cause GC did that song "I just wanna live", that sounded really 80s**(Since Tom Riddle did not live in the 80's, I do not know what I am supposed to get. Also, Motley Crue, Poison and Whitesnake sound 80's. Not Good Charlotte.)**

"OMG, me too!" I replied happily.

"Guess what, they have a concert in Hogsment**(Apparently 'Satan' was a student around 7 or 10 years ago.)** Satan whispered.

"Hogsment?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's what they used to call it in this time, before it became Hogsmeade in 2000**." **he told me all secretively. "and there's a really cool shop called Hot**-"**

'-Topic!" I finished, happy again**(…)**

He frowned confusedly. "No, it's called Hot Ishoo." He smiled secretively again. "then in 1998 they changed it to Hot Topic." he moaned.

"Oh." now everything was making sense for me**. **"So is Dumblydore your principal**?"** I shouted.**(Why are you fucking shouting?)**

"Uh-huh." he looked at his black nails**(maaaaanly maaaan.)** "I'm in Slytherin**(Slytherin and of course you are)**."

"OMFGme too!" I shrieked.

"You go to this skull?"(geddit 'cause I'm goffik**(No, that was an awful pun and makes you sound like a 1****st**** grader. Skull and School are not acceptable alternates for the other.)**) he asked

"Yeah, that's why I'm here, I'm new." I smelled happily

Suddenly Dumblydore flew in on his broomstick and started shredding at us angrily

"NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!" he had short blonde hair**!)** and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan Ogle Outfitters. "STUPID GOFFS**!(Kody: my friend Jordan used to work there. He's so nice. We pose like male models together in the hall.)"**

Satan rolled his eyes. "He is so mean to us goffs and punks just because we're in Slytherin and we're not preps**.(you sound like a 5 year old.)"**

I turned around angrily. "Actually, I think maybe it's because you are the bark lord**."**

"WTF?" he asked angrily.

"Oh nuffin." I said sweetly**(You are not a Japanese cutie pie, nor a short muffin like Kody when she's around Markity Mark. Do not say that.)**

Then suddenly... the floor opened. "OMFG NO!" I screamed as I fell down**()**. Everyone looked at me weirdly**.(I would too)"**

"Hey, where are you going?" Satan asked as I fell

I got out of the hole and I was back in the pensive in professor Trevolry's classroom. Dumblydum was there. "Dumblydore I think I just met you." I said

"Oh yeah, I remember that." Dumbledore said, trying to be all goffik**(how can he saying 'I remember that' mean he's trying to be goth?) **

Sinister came in. "Hey, this is my classroom; wait, WTF, Ebony what the h*ll are you doing**?"**

"Um." I looked at her.

"Oh yeah, I forgot 'bout that**."**

"WTH, how?" I screamed, forgetting she was a teacher for a second. But she's a goff so it's OK**(So if I skip classes and flunk school, it's ok because I'm goff? I hope you fail and can't even get into a community college, Tara.)**

Professor Sinister looked sad. "Um, I was drinking Voldemortserum." she started to cry black tears of depression**(If I'm depressed and cry my tears turn black?**

**Kody: yup yup.)**. Dumblydum didn't know about them

"Hey, are you crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, touching a tear**.**

"F*ck off!" we both said and Dumblydum took his hand away. **(Bitch.)**

Professor Sinister started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears**(Limpid means clear, stupid.)**

"OMFG Enoby…I think I'm addicted to Voldemortserum**.**

AN: See you f*cking preps go f*ck yourselves, that's a serious issues so go to h*ll!**(…if she were addicted to crack like Kody's fun teacher Mr. B, then I could see the serious issue..)**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33.

AN: I said shut up**, **it's not my fault OK, if you don't like the story then you're a prep**(We know, we know, everybody except you is a prep.)**, so f*ck you flamers!

PS I'm not updating until you give me five good reviews and this time I mean it! You suck!**(Oh hunnnn…see, in Voudou, cursing you is fine. I'd watch your damn mouth.) **Fangz raven for the help I'll promise to help you with your story lolz!

"Oh my f*cking god**!"** I shouted sadly. "Should we get you to St Manga's, bitch**?"**

"Hell no!" she said. "Listen Ebony, I need you're help**. **Next time you go back in time, do you think you could ask Tom Andorson for some help?"

"Sure I said sadly." I went outside the door. Draco was there**(Well duh)**! He was wearing a big black GC t-shit which was his panamas**(and nothing else. Like a girl.)**.

"Hey Sexy." I said.

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice, it was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when he's talking**(Gerard actually has a pretty high voice compared to, say, Dani Filth.)**

"Fine." I responded. We started to go back into the dorm

"How far did you go with Satan**?"** Draco asked jealously

"Not too far, lol**(…yeah. LOL.)**." I borked**.**

"Will you have to do it with him**?(Yup!)"** Draco asked angstily**(Much like Kurt cobain god bless his heart.)**

"I hope not too far!" I shouted angrily. Then I felt bad for shouting at him. I said sorry. We frenched

"What happened to Snipe?" I growled.

"You will see." Draco giggled mischievously. He opened a door…Snap and Lumpkin were there! Serious was poking them by stabbing them with a black knife.

"NOOOO PLEASE!" Lumpkin begged as Serious started to suck his blood

I laughed statistically**(…)**. I took some photons of him and Snap being torqued**(Torqued? Like, lit on fire?)**

(ok I know this is mean but think about it people, they are pedos**(Only in your sick twisted world)** and Snap tried to rape themand anyway sadists rock**(…if you actually knew how to apply the sadism, then yes it would. Dorian's a sadomasochist. We have fun.) **has anyone seen Shark Attack 3lolz

We took some of Snipe's blood, then Draco and I went back to our rooms. We sat on my goffik black coffin. My clothes were kinda dirty so I put on a black leather outfit thingy kinda like the one Selene has in Underworld**(…oh bitch you WISH. Kate Beckinsale pulled it off well. You would not. And it is NOT leather.)**. (If you haven't heard of it then f*ck you**!**. I put on some black platform high heels. Darko put on "desolition liverzby MCR

Then...we started to take of each others' clothes**(But you just put that tight thing on….I mean, honey, that outfit would require oil to get on, and after all that effort, I certainly don't relish taking MINE off and shit I've said too much.)**

I took off his shit and he had a six-pack, lolz. **(Why is his 6-pack funny lolz.)**

We started to make out like in "The Grudge". He put his wetness**(Now penises are WET!)** in my you-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.**(…a…sex…party?)**

"Oh Draco! Oh my f*cking gud Draco!" I screamed passively as he got an erection**(Men need erections before hand, dummy, otherwise it's like sticking pla-doh into a teeny hole.)**

"I love you TaEbory." he whispered sexily and then we fell asleep, lol.**(why do you keep saying lol?)**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34.

AN: Shut the f*ck up preps! Have you even read the story**(why else would we be 'flaming'.)**? You are probably all just preps and posers**(The only poser here is you, dear, yes you, who has no idea what goth is.)** so f*ck you! Fangs to raven for the help!

I woke up in the coffin the next day. Draco was gone**. **I got up and put on a black tight sexy dress that was all ripped at the end**(….rip off. Geddit?)**. There was red corset stuff going up the front and the back and it came up to my knees.

There was a slit in the dress like in mr & mrs smith.

I put on ripped black fishnets and black stilton bo-ots**(…Kody looks better than you today. She told me to say that cuz she's wearing**

**~A skirt  
>~A black t-shirt that says 'Undead'<br>~Stripey stockings  
>~ a gothic cross choker thing.)<strong>

Suddenly…Sorious cockedon the door. I opened it

"Hi Ibony." he said. "Guess what, you have to come to Professor Sinistor's office."

"Ok." I said in a depressed voice**. **I had wanted to f*ck Dracoor maybe listen to MCR or Evanescence.

I came anyway.

"So what the f*ck happened to Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtatiously**(…that's Vampire's godfather you whore.)**

"I f*cking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way**(go Sirius.)**. "They are in Azkaban now, lol**."**

I laughed evilly

"Where are Draco and Vampira**(Vampire's a chick now?)**?" I muttered

"They are excused from school today." Sodomize**(…Sodomize. Thank god there are only 4 more chapters of this drivel left.)** moaned sexily** (of course he's moaning round you. Tara, do you have low self esteem, saw a hot goth woman who had a sexy boyfriend and self inserted yourself into a world where you were that attractive woman who everyone loved because in this world you find yourself unattractive? Just wondering.)**

"Right now they are watching the Nightmare before Xmas

We went into the office. Professor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik black dress that was all ripped all over**(I am wearing a black leather jacket, black slacks, a lacy gray camisole and point witchy boots. I look hotter.) **it kinda like the one Amy Lee wears in this pic

( http/**(Link removed.)** She was drinking some Volximortserum.**(What is that anyway?)**

She took out the Pensive and the time-torner.

"Enoby, you will have to do another session now**(Cause you didn't scratch your itch last time...)**. Also I need you to get me the cure for being addicted." she said sadly"Good luck. Fangz

And then…I jumped into the Pensive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in the Great Hall eating Count Chorcula**(Does no one notice you randomly showing up?)**

It was morning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man with long black hair, pale skin and blue eyes**(Dorian is tall, has longish black hair, is rather pale as many aristocratic gentlemen are of his day, has brown eyes, and is NOT A GOTH. Long black hair and pale skin does not a goth make.)** wearing a suit and black Cronvrese shoes.

He looked just like Charlyn Manson**(CHARLES MANSON. YOU THINK CHARLES MANSON IS GOTH. AND HOT. EW.)**

I noticed…he was drinking a portent

"Who is he?" I asked**.**

"Oh, that's Professor Slutborn**(now that's Ebony's name.)**." Satan said. "He's the Portents teacher...Ebony?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Did you know that Marilyn Manson is playing in Hogsemade tonight**(Apparently Marilyn Manson is not 50 as we all believe, but 130.)**? And they are showing "The Exercise"at the movies before that."

"Yeah?"

"Well…want to go to the concert and the movie with me?"**(then fuck him for no reason?)**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35. ghost of you **(Inane title.)**

**AN: Sorry to all about my numerous spelling errors I've noticed cropping up. When I type, I type quite fast, so some words get messed up. Just let me know if I desperately need to fix a chapter.)**

AN: Fangs to suzifor the idea!

You rock! F*ck off preps**!**

Fangz to raven for the help, you rock girl!

PS: I'm going to end the story really soon so f*ck you! Oh yeah and if you know any goffik names please tell me 'cause I need one for serious**(Hello Kitty.)** fangz.

I went into the Common Room thinking of Satan**(Which one?)**

Suddenly I gasped…Draco was there**!**

I gasped. He locked**(S and M…) **as hot as ever wearing black leather pants**(I bet…leather pants are very notorious for being hot.)**a black Linkin Park t-shirtand black eyeliner**(maaaanly. Dorian wears eyeliner too. But he's an author insert narcissist. Ah Dorian, I love you dearly.)**.

"Draco what the f*ck are you doing!" I gasped.**(just chillin.)**

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembered. It wasn't Draco. It was Lucien**(Apparently LUCIUS and Draco are fucking twins.) **He still had two arms.**(…huh?)**

"Oh, hi Lucian!" I said. "I'm Ebony the new student lol**." **we shook hands

"Yeah, Satan told me about you."**(Satan delivers news in the form of signs rather like god only more 'goffik.')**

Lucian said. He pointed to a group of sexxxy goffik guys

They were sitting in a corner cutting**(…not hot.)**

It was Serious, Vampire's dad**(Sirius is Vampires fucking GODFATHER.)**

and…Snap! All of them were wearing black eyeliner and black Good Charlotte band shirts. **(Identicalness.) **"Listen, I'm in a goth band with those guys." he said"We're playing tonight at the Marilyn Mason show as back-up.**(Marilyn Manson would rather die.)**

"ORLY." I asked.

"Yeah." he said. "We're called XBlakXTearX**(wow…sounds like a 13 year old emo kid trying to be cool's username.)** I play the gutter**(Do you use drumsticks to play it.)**Spartacusplays the drums**"**he said pointing to him. "Snap plays the bass**. **And James plays the guitar to even though we call him Samaro, after Samara in the ring."

"Hey bastards." I told them**(Wow fucking rude.)** they gave me death's touch sign**. **Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't you have a lead singer?" I asked**(Oh god here we go.) **he looked down sadly.

"We used to but she died**. **She contempted suicide by slitting her wrists**.(How do you contemplate it if you've already done it?)"**

"Oh my f*cking god! That's so f*cking sad!" I gasped**(ASTHMA)**

"It's okay, but we need a new lead singer." Samaro said.**(…oh for fucks sake.)**

"Well," I said, "I'm in a band myself."

"Really?" asked Snap. I couldn't believe it. He used to be goffik**!**

"Yeah, we're called Bloody Gothik Rose 666**. **Do you wanna hear me sing?"**(of course they do you self insert. No not you Dorian, darling.)**

"Yeah." said everyone. So the guys took out their guitars. They began to play a song bi (geddit 'cause bi guys are sooo sexah**!(You are not witty. Just stop.))** Gurn Day.**(GURN day.)**

"I work this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams." I sang sexily**(Well duh, how else could you be a self inserted Mary Sue?)** (I don't own the lyrics to that song**).** Everyone gasped**.**

"Enoby? Will you join the band? Please?" begged Lucian, Samoro**, **Serious and Snap.

"Um…ok." I shrugged**(…I can sing better than you and my singing is limited to screaming Baron Semedi's name as though in the throes of a fabulous orgasm. Then the tourists pay me my tip for the ritual (no that isn't a euphemism.) and my night is over.)**"Are we going to play tonight?"

"Yeah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I knew that I had to get a new outfit.**(oh for fucking..)**

I walked outside wondering how I could go forward in time**. **Suddenly someone jumped in front of me. It was…Morty McFli**! **He was wearing a black bandt-shirt and black baggy jeans.

"What the h*ll are you doing here!" I asked.**(You don't DESERVE a Marty McFly cameo.)**

"I will help you go forward in time Enoby." he said siriusly**. **

Then…he took out a black time machine**(what is with the fucking black gadgets!)** I went into it and…suddenly I was forward in time


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36.** (Thank you to Dr. Rae and TheFeaturedCreature for the awesome reviews!)**

AN: I said stop flaming ok! I bet you are all probably old, seventy year old

ps PORTERSUZ**(huh?)** UR A PREP!

Oh, yeah, and fangz to raven**(Raven is an imaginary friend) **

I looked around in a depressed way**(ho-kay then. Geddit?) **Suddenly I saw Professor Sinister, B'loody Mary, Socrates**(Socrates the Greek scholar?)** and Draco. Vampire and Willowwere there too.

"OMFG Sorius, I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snap used to be goffik**!"**

"Yeah I know." Serious said sadly.

"Oh, hey there bitch." Professor Trevolry said in an emo**(does that mean a pseudo-bored drawl whilst flipping your hair out of your eyes?)** voice drinking some Volxemortserum.

"Hi f*cker." I said. "Listen, Satan asked me out to a goffik **(MM isn't goth. Well, Mr. Manson is, but the band isn't.) **cornetand a movieso I need a sexy new outfit for the date**. **Also I'm playing in a gothic band**(no you're not and their not goth.)**so I need an outfit for that too."

"Oh my Satan**!"** (geddit lolz 'cause she's goffik**(Not all Goths are Satanists and not all Satanists are Goths. SLUT. Geddit cuz she's a slut?)**gasped B'loody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?"

"OMFS, let's have a group cutting session**(…a GROUP CUTTING SESSION.)**said Professor Trevolry.

"I can't f*cking wait for that, but we need to get some stuff first**(Some birth control, condoms, and maybe a pizza)**." said Willow.

"Yeah ,we need some potions for Professor Trevolry so she won't be addicted to Volxemortserumanymore and also…some love potions for Enoby**(she don't need any.) **Darko said reluctantly**. **

"Well, we have potions class now." Willow said, "so let's go."**(oh finally you go to class. But I bet you're going to say you can be late cuz you're 'goff.')**

We went sexily**(I walk sexy. It's due to the learning how to dance with a python. I roll my hips, shoulders back, and slightly smile.))** to potions class. But Snape wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelio F*ck!

"Hey, where the f*ck is Dumblydore!" Draco shouted angrily**.**

"STFU**!" **shouted Cornelia F*ck**. **"He is in Azkaban now with Snip and Loopin**. **he is old and weak, he has cancer**(…NO KODY STOP TRYING TO READ THE STORY, YOU'LL JUST STEAL JASON'S HATCHET AND GO ON A RAMPAHE!)**. Now do your work**!"**

My friends and I talked angrily.**(Didn't you hate Dumbledore?)**

"Can you BELIEVE Snap used to be goffik!" Vampire asked surprisedly.

"That's it!" Cornelio f*ck shouted angrily. "I'm getting Professor BRIDGE**!"**

He stomped out angrily**.**

My friends and I began talking again. I began to drink some blood mixed with beer**(how the fuck did you get beer at 17?) **Suddenly I saw Hargrid in the cupboard.

"WTF is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier then ever.**(ew lots of eyeliner.)**

Suddenly…"Hargrif what the f*ck are you doing!" he shouted.

I looked around…Hairgrid was putting something in my glass of blood! Darko and Vampire started to beat him up sexily**(how do you beat someone up 'sexily'?)**

"God you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was…Amnesia Portion!


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: I'm sorry people. I couldn't fucking handle chapter 37. I'm not ging to commentate on it, mostly because it's full of self-preening and is illegible. If you want to read it, TheFeaturedCreature has a great commentary on all of My Immortal.**

**Otherwise trust me, you're not missing much. **

**Thanks! Kody and Naomi**


	38. Chapter 38

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not**(…I cannot understand you.)**!1111111

Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it**(Hideous sounding car.)**. On da license plate said 666 just lik Draco's car. I went in it seduktivly**(…ew.) **Stan**(Satan you mean.)**started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.**(kutting?)**

"Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11" Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed**(where are the cops in this town?)**. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy**(…how many 'bi' guys do you know? Cuz I know quite a few. Not very 'sensitive'.)**

"Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena**(…**

**Kody: I'm going to admit something I've never told anyone. I almost killed myself on August 1st. Not because it was cool, but because I really wanted to die. August 1****st**** is Lammas. I lived, by a hair. It was a miracle. I decided to live because I got a second chance. So suck my invisible dick, Tara.)**." I said in a flirty voice.**(Suicide. So hot.)** "….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?"**(Satan IS voldemort stupid. Obviously he would.)**

"Well…" he thought. "I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod."

Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater**(by nature, theaters are indeed black)**. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer**(VALKEN! HOLY SHIT THEY'RE TALKING BOUT JASON! NO REALLY!)** came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we're sadists.**(…why do Satanists like blood? Oh that's right, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW.)**

While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan's gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar**(…Cigars.) **sexilyfrom his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in itI put it bak in his blak Emile the Strange bag. **(…FUCKING MANLY.)** Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em**(impossibleeee)** started 2 fly around everywhere.**(**

"OMG!111" Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. "Enoby gess what?"

I new that the amnesia had worked.

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." He said. "2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u."**(lol contradictions are awesome.)**

"Kul." I raised my eye suggestingly. And den…. he tok of my cloves sexily**(In the movie theater)** and we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We frenched.

"Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111" shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.**(Or just grossed out. Why is it everyone who dares to be a little different than you is suddenly a prep?)**

"Fuk u!11" I said. Suddenly…. I attaked her suking all her blood**(EW.)**

"Noooooo!11" she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped**(I wouldn't, cuz you just murdered somebody! Still goth, just not into murder.)** koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.

"Zomg how did u do that?" Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire." I said as we went into the car.**(I'm awesome.)**

"Siriusly ?" he gasped.

"Yah siriusly." I said drinking sum beer**(how do you get this beer)**. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.

"Itz too bad we didn't get 2 c da rest of the movie, don't u fink?"**(Valken strangled a girl who looks similar to…Ebony!**

**Valken: the strippers were glad to be my actresses.)**

"Yah." I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.**(Manson would want to kill himself if he saw you.)**

"Anti-ppl**(This is a LAME song)** now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111" screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers**(You mean the 'I love you' sign?)**. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1 He looked at me all emohis gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgaism**(Kody: mikey used to be my bitch. Lol.)**!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.

"I wood like to peasant…..XBlakXTearX!11" he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.**(…)**

"Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111" I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard Woy **(You sound like a dude? LOL!)**. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation**. **"I'M NUT OKAY!1" I sang finaly. Suddenly Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak

"OMFG!1" yielded James. "Wut the fuck?"

"Woops im sory!" said Lucian.

"You fuking ashhole!1" James shouted angrily.**(woah, why is that a big deal?)**

"U guys are such prepz!11" Snap said. "Cum on it wuz a mistake!1"

"Yah itz not his fault!11" said Serious.

"No he ruined the fucking song!1" yelled Samaro.**(oh who gives a shit.)**

"U guys stop!11" I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.

"OMFG no!11" shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.

And den…I jumped secxily **(How do you do that? Sacrifice yourself sexily?)**in front of da bullet!11

"No!111" yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.**(SHES DEAD! PRAISE GOD!)**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz**(huh?)**

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.**(OMG WHUT!)**

AN/ I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too**(you could probably crack mine too, you lil genius. Just please don't)**) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.**(No, I like you. Here, have a chicken claw.)**

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."**(woot!)**

I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood**(DEATH OF EBONY!)**

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"**(die now please.)**

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue**.(…Dorian, please take over, I'm laughing too hard.)**

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."**(**_**Dorian: Erm, what do I do?)**_

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.**(**_**ooh, death!)**_

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers**(**_**I'm not quite sure what's going on…)**_, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.**(**_**Naomi, cher, they're calling you. Naomi taught me that. Along with how to curse in New Orleans slang.)**_

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.**(**_**Spontaneous combustion?)**_

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!" filled the room.**(**_**why are they yelling? This dead girl sounds so HORRID…)**_

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN/I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened**(**_**magicalness. I should tell Lord Henry.)**_ and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.**(**_**oh my…)**_

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless**(**_**Would that involve me?**_**)**. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.**(**_**I don't believe in marriage.)**_

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occured to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it**(**_**But she sounds so…normal? And non slutty, as Naomi explained to me.**_**)**. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle**?(**_**I enjoy this author far more than my own.**_**)).** Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here. _**(Oh my.)**_

Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

AN/ Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter, I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you can read it here:**(**_**Oh…Naomi you may want to take over here…)**_

AN: stfu prepz git a lif!111111 U SUCK!11 oh and form now on il be in vocation in englind until lik august so I wont be able 2 update 4 a while, lolz. fangz 2 evry1 hu revoiwed expect da prepz hu flamed FOK U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!111**(Oh god it's back.)**

I woke up in da Norse's offace on a special gothik coffin**(OH MY GOD PLEASE DIE.)** Hairgrid wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Vampir and Draco had bet him up. Mr. Noris was cleaning the room

"Oh mi satan wut happened!" I screamed. Suddenly Volxemort came. He loked less mean then usual.**(dots.)**

"Get the fuk out u fucking bastard!11" I yielded.**(you do realize what yielding means, yes?)**

"Thou hath nut killd Vampire yet!11" he said arngrily. Sudenly he started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.

"Volxemort? OMFG what's wrong!111" I asked.

Sudenly…. Lucian, Profesor Sinister and Serious came! B'lody Mary and Vampire were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez**(I got Kody a pink box with a voudou love spell in it. And a chicken claw.)**. VOLXEMORT DISAPAERD.

"OMFG Enoby ur alive!111" Scremed Vampire. I hugged him and B'lody Mary.

"What the fuk happened?" I asked dem. "Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?" I gosped.**(yes. Please god let it be true.)**

"Enoby u were almost shot!11" said Serious. "But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time**.(…what now?)**

"But fangz anyway!1" said Lucian holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG I cant beleve Vampirz' dad shot u!1" I gasped.

"Well 2 be honest Snap wuz pozzesd by Snap bak den**(snape was possessed…by snape.)**." said James.

"Yah he wuz a spy." Serious said sadly. "He wuz really a Death Dealer**."**

"And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11" said Lucian. "He didn't even realy no hu GC were until I told him**(I know nothing about Good Charlotte. Still a goth.)** Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s**(Where do you buy that box? I want to give it to Dorian and tell him Basil is back from the grave.)** (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Noris looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.

"Hey haz aneone fuking seen Draco?" I asked gothikally.

"No Draco told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax." said Profesor Trevolry. "He duzzn't know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1"

I got up suicidally**(how does one do that?)**. Lucian, Serious and Profesor Sinister left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather bra trimed wif blak lace**(Dorian bought me one of those. It took me an hour to explain to him why that would give me a rash and I didn' care how hot he thought I'd look in it, MAYBE HE SHOULD GIVE IT TO THOSE PROSTITUTES IN THE BROTHEL HE WAS CHECKING OUT. Ahem ((Surely Rxe gets it.)))**, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt**(A thong does not have a butt part.)** and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don't get da idea massage me ill tell u**(Yeah yeah yeah garter belt)**). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather mini with blak lace and congress **Barack Obama shoes!)** shoes. I left the hospital's wings wif B'lody Mary, Willow and Vampire.

"OMFG letz celebrate!11" gasped Willow.

"We can go c Hose of Wax wif Draco!1" giggled Vampire.

"Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11" **(How celebratory.)** said Hermoine. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den…..I gasped… Draco wuz there doing it wif Snap**(yeah boi.)**!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.**(…ok then Ebony.)**

"U fucking prep!11" we all yielded angrily.**(Ok so they can be all sensitive and 'bi' but the moment they have sex with a guy they're preppy?)**

"Yah u betrayed us!111" shooted Vampire angrily as he took out his blak gun.

"No u don't understand!1" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thingie out of Snake's.**(His dick out of Snapes ass?)**

"No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111" said Willow trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak **(How the fuck to you sexily take a stake out?) **out.

"Enoby no!11111" screamed Draco but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 41.

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF**!**I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is**(No, no, I do. I'm just not a fan.)** ur proly al prepz and pozers**(WE. GET. IT)**!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November**(lol you deserved it)** and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while**(oh god)** but ive been rilly bizzy im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako**(Yes. A 30 year old man playing a 17 year old. Makes total sense)**. if u flame ill slit muh risztz**(You said that last time.)**!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX**(Emo girls profile name.)**!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr**(you are a total idiot…)**) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander**(No. The Beatles are not involved in this.)** with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves**(Stop it. Just stop.)**. On it said '1980.'

"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz.**(Fishnet. Pants. Oh dear lord.)** He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11

"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.**(How does one ask gothically? With an air of mystery and aloofness?)**

"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily **(I've never snapped at someone sexily. When I'm angry it is not sexy. At all.)**. "OMG am I dedd**?"** koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally**(how do I reassure someone…while being suicidal?)**as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing."**(Harry's dad. Is fucking dead.)**

I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future**.** "WTF! James almust shot Luciious**!"** I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.

"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.**(…)**

"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy**(I guess if you're goth and hot, it's an indicator. You are bisexual.)**!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties**(Greenday wasn't around til the 90's, dumb fuck.))**), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.**(Mysteriously, with an air of indifference..)**

"Who da fuck is that?" I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.**(Well du-uh.)**

"Dis is…Hedwig!11" Sed Volximort. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.**(…HEDWIG THE OWL.)**

"Hey Hedwig." I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b**(…you cannot be seductive unless you are trying to be.)**

"Lol hi Enoby." He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok**(…No.**)

"Bye." I sed all sexily.

"Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up." Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.**(Seriously is everybody fucking bisexual? Is Hogwarts making people attracted to both sexes?)**

"OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!" I said fingering something I didn't know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem? dey kik azz**!)(Um…pardon?)**

"Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!1**("My tits cuz I'm a slut!)**" I led them to da Great Hall. "Cum on u guys."

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him**(Um, if someone shoots someone, generally THEY ARE ARRESTED.)**

"Go fuk urself you fukking douche!" he shouted at him. "Drako is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!1**(Like you would know.)**

"Yah go fuck urself Samaro!" Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.

"B quiet u guys." I said sexily. **(You are not sexy.)** Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire's dad wood never die and "OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out." I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.**(Um. No. Um NO.)**

"Kool." said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily**(Woah random porn because everyone is gay.)**. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.

"Oh my fukking god! Voldimort! Voldimort!" screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort's.**(His…glock? So his gun?)**

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame…Dumblydore and Mr. Norris!111111111111


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 42. da blak parade**(dat'sz just my baby daddy…)**

AN: omg da new book iz kumming out rlly soon I kant wait!1111**(Spoiler alert, he gets with Pansy.)**. I fink dat snap will be really the same person as Volximort koz dey are both haff-blood so dat will explain y he kild dumblydore**(are you willfully being retarded or what?)** and he hated hairy**(sometimes I hate Harry)**!1111 nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicid so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!111 omg I hope draco nd harry get 2getha dat will be so shmexxy, wont it? If dey don't den JKR is hamophobic**(except that harry and draco getting together would neither push the story forward or make any scrap of sense...)**!111111 fangz 4 da help wiv facts, medusa u rok!111**(…Medusa.)**

I sat depressedly in Dumbledork'soffice wiv Hedwig, Satan, James, Serious, Snap and Lucian. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us cruelly**(I imagined Dumledore to be sitting on a throne made of bones when I read this…)**. He looked more young den he did in da future**(god I wonder why…)**. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.

"What da hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out dat I was frum another time.

"Whatever u do don't blame Ibony, u jerk." Satan said.

"Yah, siriusly she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together." Serious said deviantly

"Be quiet you Satanists." Dumbledore cockled. "If ur lucky I'll probably send u all to Akazaban! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall." He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n'Sync**(N'sync was the shit only a few years ago. How they ended up in the 20's I will never know)** song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Dumblydore didn't notece.

"You fucking poser." I muttoned.

"I bet you've never herd of GC**(if someone just walked up to me and said I didn't know what 'gc' is, I'd have to agree. Because not every band is known by it's initials, dumbass)**." James said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly's tim machine!11

"Shut up Jomes!" Drako's dad shouted.

"Yeah shut up!" Snake said preppily**(lol preppily.)**

"No u shut up Dumblydore!1111" said Tom.

"I've had enough of u Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore spuriously.

Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. "Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8**(WHAT THE FUDGE?)**! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was…..Satan.

"You dunderheads!1111111111" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.

I looked around. I wuz in da Slitherin conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing a blak plaid miniskirt with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset**(no such thing.)** and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem**(ok, first of all, every chapter you've been saying that you hate pink. Secondly this outfit sounds hideous.)**My earrings were blake Satanist sins and my raven hair was all around me to my mid-black

"Hey kool where iz dis**?"** he asked in an emo voice.**(whilst flipping his bangs out of his eyes)**

"Dis is da future. Dumbeldore's iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine." I told him.

"Kool what's an ipatch**(iPatch: The pirate's version of iPod)**?" he whimpered.

"It's somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music." I yakked.

"OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?" he esked in his sexah voice.

"Um I guezz sand?" I laid confuesdly.

"Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon**.(…wow Tara.)"** He triumphently giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in**.**

"OMG you're fucking alive**(No, she's fucking dead!**!" said Ginny wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last**(not gothic..)** shirt. I explained 2 her why I was alive.

"Konichiwa, **(Mon dieu bitch.)**bitch." said Willow. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it.**(quick! To Storyville!)** With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.**(black lipstick should be worn only on Halloween. Same with red eyeshadow. You all sound like clowns.)**

"Hey, motherfucker." Said Diabolo with his red hair. He waz wearing a black P?ATD-shit and blak baggy pants.

"Hey whose that, Ibony?" B'loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.**(red leather pants. With lace. I weep for baby bats everwhere.)**

"Oh its Satan." I told her and she nodded knowing da truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly.

"OMFG ur from da future!1! What if u don't like m anymore koz were from difrent times?" he asked.**(god this makes me want to punch Dorian in the face.)**

"No I still like you." I said sexily to him.

"Ok." He said ressuredly. I let him lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabolo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Sinister ran in!1111 She was wearing a gothic blak minidress with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights**(ok, few things are wrong with this. How exactly are stripes 'depressing', and second of all…black dress with black stripes.)** and red converse shoes. She was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.

"Oh my fucking god, where's Draco!111 How did Snap get back here! I tohot he wuz in Azerbaijan**."** I asked sadly.

"Ebony I was so worried abott u but I know you can't fucking die because you're a vrompire. Snape came back because that girl Britney freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Trevolry said reassuredly.

"That bitch!11 Did she also free Hargrid and Loopin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.**(yes. We are well aware.)**

"Yes they are on the loose at this school. Dumblydore is back Cornelia is on hisway to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!" Trevolry said worriedly.

"OK. But where's Dracko? How cum he was doing it with Snap?"**(because you slept with 'Satan'.)**

"I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself." she said.

"OMG dat's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!" wiv dat I ran out.

"Good luck Tara!11" everyone cried.

I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Britney laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty **(Like you dress ANY less slutty)**pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!111" I shouted angrily.

"No, your totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will like totally kill u!" she laughed.**(oh I like her.)**

"Crucious!1" I shouted selectively pontificating my blak wand and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.

"No!1 Help me!1 Please!1" Britney screamed terrifiedly.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Snape and Lumpin had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Voldimort doing it with Hedwigg onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG Vampira!111" I yielded.

We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair**(…)**. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow**(wow. Cuz eye was so hard to spell.)**. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Joel from Good Charlote than ever. (did u hear der song da river it rox!1)"I wus so worried you died!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but Im a vampire lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Voldimort from when he was yung with me."

"Where's Draco?" I asked spuriously.

"Draco? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?" Vampir snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM." I SED SMARTY.

"I'll do it den." Harry said angstily.

"OK." I argreed. Suddenly….all da lights in da room went out. And den….da Dork Mark appeared.**(LE GASP.)**

"Oh my fucking satan!" Harry shouted.

"I fink Voldimort has arrivd." I sed anxiously. "Fuck, I have to find Draco!1 I guess we shood separate."

"Ok." Vampire sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 43.**(GOD HATES MEEEE)**

AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz**(Or one...)**. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111**(I'm rocking out to Solar Midnite by Lupe Fiasco just to get me thru this…)**

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person**(Obviously it was God..)**. Draco was there! **(DAMMIT!)**He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirtand his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists**(well of courrrrseeee.)**111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Snape**(The ghost of Snape weeps..)**but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.**(When did Gerard way obtain red eyes?)**

"Draco are you okay?" I asked.**("no you whore.")**

"I'm not okay." he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.**(how in gods name is that song sad?)**

"Oh Draco why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked teardully.

"I-" Draco began to say but suddenly Lupin and Mr. Norris appearated in2 da room! They didn't see us.**(woo?)**

"Im so glad we me**(….me too.)**and Snape were freed." said Loopin.

"Dam, this job would be great if it wasn't 4 da fukking students!" Mr. Norris argreed.

"Pop addelum!111 I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.

"Noooooooo!1" Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.

"You fukking perv."**(no ma'am. YOU are the perv.)** I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice**(evil and yet depressed…so you're like Bella!.)** "Now u have 2 tell us where Voldimort is or I'm gong 2 torture u!"

"I don't now where he is!1111" said Loopin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran in2 da room. Vampir didn't know who Satan was really.**(…)**

"Oh my satan,**(Joe: OH MY NONEXISTIENT GOD!)** we were so worried about u guys!1" Vampire said. I looked sexily at Draco with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Vampir with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Brandan Urie then.**\**

I selectively took the caramel from my pocketAnd then….. I began frenching Draco sexily. Loopin gasped. Draco began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack **(like Jamie Campbell Bower? Or like Sweeney Todd?)**. Then Vampire took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily**. **I took off my blak leather bra**(Get a rash, ho.)**, my blak lace thong **(I bet its Hot Topic and will fall apart within a week.)**and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. **(You are a fucking genius)**"Oh mi satan! Draco!" I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry**. **I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. "OMS!111" cried Vampire. "Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasore. Loopin watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly…..

….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Snap wuz in it!11 **(PLOT TWIST FAIL!)**


End file.
